Legitimate Rights

Knowing your legitimate rights is essential if you wish to practice assertive communication.

In assertiveness training we learn the difference between the distorted thoughts and assumptions we are raised with, and our rights.

The following is a list of some of the the distorted assumptions you may have been raised with, and your legitimate rights.

Assumption:

It is selfish to put your own needs first.

Right:

You have a right to put your self first sometimes ; this models responsibility.

Assumption:

When someone is in trouble, you should always help him or her.

Right:

You have a right not to take responsibility for other people's problems. They are strong.

Assumption:

You should be intuitively sensitive to the needs and wishes of others.

Right:

You should not be expected to be able to read the minds or figure out other people's needs and wishes.

Assumption:

I you cannot convince others that your feelings and opinions are reasonable, then you feelings must be wrong.

Right:

You can think and feel the way you need to and except your feelings and opinions as legitimate, regardless of other people's reactions.

Assumption:

You should not waste others time with your problems. They have problems too.

Right:

You have the right to ask for help and emotional support. This gives others the opportunity to request help and support.

Assumption:

You should have an appropriate response for every situation

Right:

You have a right to make mistakes.

Assumption:

Mistakes are shameful especially if someone's feelings get hurt.

Right:

Mistakes, not perfection, are a part of being human

Assumption:

You should always be logical and consistent.

Right:

You have the right to change your mind.

Assumption:

You should always have a good reason for what you say, feel and do.

Right:

You do not have to justify and defend yourself to others.

Assumption:

Always accommodate others so they will like you.

Right:

You have a right to say no.

Assumption:

Knowing that you have done something well is it's own reward. people do not like show offs.

Right:

You have the right to receive recognition for your work and achievements.

Assumption:

If you are criticized you have been rejected as "not good enough".

Right:

You have a right to hear feedback and filter out that which is of no value to you.